Keeping it real since 2014

10 Stages of Applying for A Job

I am leaving the Navy and joining the civilian world this Fall. I heart the Navy, it’s been good to me, but it’s time to move on. But more on that later.

Anyway, as I begin tipping my toe in the job pool; I’ve experienced a lot of emotions that can be summed up by none other than my main mode of expression: the meme.



Yes, I realize I’m leaving everything I know of my safe, cushy, Chiefly existence to explore the unknown. I get it, you wouldn’t do it. But what works for some people doesn’t work with everyone, so if you’ve got nothing positive to say, say nothing.


You go to Transition Assistance Class and beef up your resume. You also learn that there’s no such thing as one resume, you’ve got to adjust your resume depending on the job.


In TAPS GPS you learn that the targeted resume isn’t enough, you’ve also got to do a cover letter that is also targeted for the job.

cover letter

You finally get the resume and cover letter squared away only to find out you have to manually reenter all the same information into the website.


You have to comb through a million ambiguous job descriptions that make no sense, salary or benefits listed.


You find a perfect dream job and begin to doubt whether you’re good enough. And usually you decide, eh fuck it. Let’s apply.


You comb through hundreds of job, create 10 page applications, submit them. Then you’re deafened by the sound of an empty inbox.


You finally get a response, and in the nicest way possible they say, “I was going to hire you, but then I thought, nah… better not.”


Begin to panic about your possible future of being jobless.


Flirt with the idea of going back to school/starting your own business/finding a sugar daddy.


But in the end, you remember that the only failure is quitting, and cat pictures and memes will always cheer one when one is down.



6 Responses to “10 Stages of Applying for A Job”

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